Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
