"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
