Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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