I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
