I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
