When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
