Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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