we're chasing vodka with high fives
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
