HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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