i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
