my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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