So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
