Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
