we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
