just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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