Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
