I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
