Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
