I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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