i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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