I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize