tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Found your dick twin last night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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