hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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