I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize
