In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
