i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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