am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
