I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
