True but thats because hes a fetus.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
