you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
