either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Panties = found
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
