Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That accounts for only three of the penises
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Randomize
