Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize