i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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