...so i touched it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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