I showed him my bush... on skype.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
