I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize