Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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