We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
