i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
