You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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