i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
