I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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