At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
