Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have aggressive nipples.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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