You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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