I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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