JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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