You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
