my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize