how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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