butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
