**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
