In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
