I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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