OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
