What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
