i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
