He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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