Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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