I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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