can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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