sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
