this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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