I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
