Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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