we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
