I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
