I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
