Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
