Betty ford says i'm here all night
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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