My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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