I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
