so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
