were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
