1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
