Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
