I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
