I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
