she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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